Webpage Supplement for (Part 1)
Chapter 5: Designing and Conducting Rituals, Ceremonies, and Celebrations
Compiled by Adam Blatner
(With contributions by Elizabeth Clontz, Patty Suggs, and others)
Revised a little, November 23, 2007
See also articles by Blatner on related websites (also have more
references):
1. Blatner, A.
(2007a). Master of Ceremonies: A New Role for Drama Therapists and
Psychodramatists. At: http://www.blatner.com/adam/pdntbk/ceremonies.html
2. Blatner, A. (2007b) Psychodrama as Ritual at: http://www.blatner.com/adam/pdntbk/pdritual.html
(Part 2: Further Notes, connections, etc. on
another webpage supplement)
Principles of Creating Rituals–Elizabeth
Clontz Anecdotes
Examples
Functions
Quotes
Further References (websites & books)
Return to Webpage Supplements Index
Principles of Creating Personal Rituals, Anecdotes and References (at bottom of this webpage):
©
Elizabeth Clontz, LCSW 2004
<wyldavia@yahoo.com>www.wyldavia.com
1 “Being with” -
The life journey of each person is viewed as sacred. The life journey
is the creation of a rich tapestry, with the dark enhancing the light.
Openness to traversing within the realms of both the light and the dark
within one’s being is viewed as vital to tapping the wholeness of the
transformative energies available to the person. The facilitator,
client and any others involved are called to be fully present with all
aspects of the process.
2.
“Gaining clarity of intention” - What is the intent of the ritual? What
is the process which is being honored by the ritual?
3.
“Tapping the design of the whole” - is there a clear beginning to
this ritual? A clear ending? What are the steps in between? What is the
relationship of the ritual to the person, its place in his or her life
as a whole, the awareness of the person being part of the whole?
4.
“Providing for a time of gathering”- What inner wisdom, inspirations
and intuitive insights present themselves? Am I allowing time for my
heart to speak on the matter? Maintain open lines of communication
during the whole process. The heart is the fountain from which the most
transformative and nourishing rituals spring. Allow time for the ritual
to gather form. What preparations will support the processes of
creating and conducting the ritual? Will others be invited to join in
the process of either preparing for the ritual or conducting it? If so,
what will their role will be? What props will benefit the ritual? Allow
for a process of discernment, time to “sit with” the vision and be open
to fine-tuning it
5. “Establishing sacred time” - What time would hold greatest
meaning for this ritual? (time of day, season, point in one’s life)
6.
“Establishing sacred place” - What physical space would hold greatest
meaning for this ritual? What supports, if any, do I need to assure
privacy?
7. “Trusting the unfolding” - Trust the process. This includes
trusting that all that is needed for the process will be available. Be
open to possibilities other than those originally envisioned. Be open
to the evolvement of the ritual. Notice what presents itself.
8.
“Viewing from a space of wholeness and empowerment” - Hold a vision and
an energetic experience of the person and his or her situation as both
whole and empowered. Maintain a conscious awareness of any labeling of
the person or the situation. Frame in such a manner as to allow for all
possibilities. Trust the person’s journey in life. There is nothing
“wrong” with the person or his or her situation. Trust the perfection
of the journey of transformation within the person’s life and the
lessons it holds. Trust that the client has the answers needed within.
9. “Discerning and posing questions” - Offer questions which
allow for the greatest possibilities and support a sense of expansion
and empowerment.
10. “Following the dance” - Maintain an awareness of movement and
stillness of energies related to the focus within the person, within
his or her life and within the process of creating and conducting the
ritual. Also hold an awareness of the relationship of the person’s life
journey to the life around him or her.
11.
“Expressing gratitude” - Consider a time within the ritual for
gratitude. Gratitude may be expressed for the place that the
theme of the ritual and its related lessons hold within one’s life, for
the ways it connects the person to the energy and cycles of life.
Having a time to focus upon feelings of gratitude allows the person to
recognize and name what s/he has received from the process and to
acknowledge being in interaction with life rather than being separate
from it or in control over it.
Anecdotes of “Personal Ritual” Focus
Sessions (E. Clontz)
Joseph’s
world had been shaken since his surgery for a brain tumor seven years
ago. He was now, for the most part, physically well. He had not,
however, fully regained his balance in life and had lost some basic
sense of trust in his ability to live an empowered life as well. Also,
his physical balance had not been solid since the surgery.
Joseph was very
attuned to nature and spent much time and energy volunteering at a
nearby park. At Joseph’s personal ritual focus session he chose to
schedule a trust walk to symbolize his opening to greater trust. With
one person in front of him on a private nature trail and myself behind
him on his walk, he chose to walk blindfolded without holding on to
anyone. Joseph moved at a slow enough pace so his steps felt solid.
With his awareness heightened, he fine-tuned his abilities to receive
information from his environment and to respond to the changing terrain.
After the walk,
Joseph felt a deeper trust in his ability to step forward in life. He
expressed an enhanced ability to ride the waves of change in life.
After the walk, all were surprised when Joseph realized his physical
balance had been regained.
Stephen and his soon-to-be adolescent daughter Katie were very close. They cherished their time with each other on alternating weekends. They shared a love of storytelling and a deep connection with Spirit. A focus of Stephen’s was to connect Katie with role models of “vibrant, powerful women living in their strength and glory” and he had done so. During a personal ritual focus session he decided to write a story for Katie’s birthday of her becoming “a vibrant, powerful woman living in all her strength and glory.” Upon receiving the gift Katie’s face was tearful and radiant. Stephen continued to empower Katie’s vision of herself and Katie continued to thrive.
Dana felt she
had been living within a whirlwind of work and stress in the corporate
world the past four years. She felt a strong need to assess where she
was in her life. She had also stopped painting, something which she
loved and which was also very centering for her. During a personal
ritual focus session, Dana decided she would create three paintings –
one representing her past, one her present, and one her future. As she
painted over the course of about six weeks, Dana felt more energized
and at peace. The first painting called her attention to things that
had fed her spirit in the past such as animals, water and flowers. She
began taking steps to gather these into her present life by creating a
water garden in her backyard and becoming a companion to a stray cat.
To Dana the
second painting represented her love of her work and the venue it
provided for her gifts as a mediator. It also represented her sense of
beginning to spiral out of control and the call for her to put more of
her energies into her own self care. Dane decided to designate a couple
of hours each week to continue her painting. The third painting held a
message of tapping into an even richer life of both connection and
solitude. Dana hung the paintings in her bedroom as visual reminders of
the movement in her life, of the fact that she had the ability to make
choices about her life, and of her vision of a more balanced and
nourishing life.
Marnie saw that
the life she had been living was not one which matched her deepest
truths. She tended to be very judgmental and often did not keep
promises. Until now she had avoided looking at these behaviors. During
her personal ritual focus session, as a way of preparing herself to
begin making changes in her outside world, we planned a ritual to
acknowledge on a deeper level the realizations and repercussions of her
behaviors. She desired to be honest with herself without being so
critical that she felt paralyzed to take action.
For several days
Marnie journaled about her behaviors. She then carved out an afternoon
for a walk of atonement. She chose to have an affirming witness during
her walk and asked that I accompany her. We arrived at a favorite path
in nature, one with a bench at the start. Marnie sat quietly for a few
moments relaxing and clearing her mind, focusing upon her intent.
She began
walking very mindfully. With each step she whispered an example of an
action or a lack of action toward another or herself for which she felt
remorse. At the end of the path she sat a few moments in reflection,
taking several deep breaths to remain centered.
She began
walking back, this time uttering words of appreciation for those in her
life past and present and well as for her self. Back at the starting
bench, Marnie gave herself time to be with her experience. Once home
she continued her journaling. She felt the courage and inspiration to
begin making amends to others and herself, step by step.
Lee’s 40th
birthday was nearing. To her it represented a major turning point in
her life. She realized how strongly she clung to grudges and the past.
She had also gained an awareness of the ways she limited herself and
her gifts. Lee felt the time had come for her to step into a place of
greater personal power.
During Lee’s
personal ritual sessions we planned a way to join the power of her
upcoming birthday with her desire for a life lived from a space of
deeper love for self and others. In the weeks before her birthday she
listed the grudges and limits she held. Lee chose to create a bonfire
on her birthday. She discerned which of her friends would be supportive
and invited those to join her.
On the night of
her birthday, Lee read aloud what she had written. As she finished
reading each page she tossed the paper into the fire, symbolizing
releasing her grudges and limits. Her friends served as witnesses. Lee
then affirmed what she chose to gather and feed in her life – deeper
friendships, more joy, a stronger belief in her innate goodness and her
gifts. Her friends offered affirmations of her strength and of her
journey.
Lee noted
expanded feelings of well-being and compassion as well as a sense of
greater closeness within her community of friends. Empowered to more
fully honor her gifts, she realized she was ready to take her work in
the healing field more seriously.
( Many of
the References at the end of this webpage are from Ms Clontz.)
Examples of Group Rituals, by Elizabeth Clontz, LCSW
From Dark to Light:
A group gathers to celebrate the winter solstice. Here the turning of
the seasons represents a time to look within, assess one’s life, and
see what is birthing in one’s life. It is a time to speak of the
spiritual threads being woven into one’s life.
Circling around a bonfire, participants share what the season
represents to them. Each is given the opportunity to share a poem, song
or other expression related to the solstice or the winter and its
symbolism.
Each takes a turn first to state gratitudes of the past season. Each
then states what he is ready to release (e.g. a behavior, an unhealthy
relationship, a career). Next each states what he desires to feed
in his life within the upcoming season.
The evening ends with a closing circle. The connection of the community
gathered is acknowledged. People may share appreciation and good wishes
Releasing and Planting:
One by one, each person in a women’s group takes a clump of weeds from
a pile. As she states one or more things she is ready to release in her
life, she discards the weeds. Then she takes some seeds. As she plants
them in a cup of soil, she states what she desires to grow in her life.
Honoring the Speaker:
A women’s group uses a talking stick as they gather in a circle to
share. The talking stick serves to designate who may speak and to whom
the rest direct their full attention and their silence. When the person
with the talking stick finishes sharing, she places the stick in the
center of the circle. The next person led within her heart to speak
takes the talking stick.
Silence as a Path to
the Heart: A group arrives at their meeting place in silence.
They continue in silence as they share a potluck. Awareness heightens
as communication occurs via eye contact, touch and gesture.
An energy chime is sounded when the meal is complete and the time for
sharing begins. During the sharing time, each person states what he or
she would like from the group. She then has a specific amount of time
to share and to receive feedback or other assistance. The beginning
silence led to a deeper richness of experience in connection, emotional
intimacy and focus.
A group gathers
to share their creative expression.
-
-
-
Post-Adoption Re-Uniting:
Ceremonies have been held for adults who, when infants, were given up
for adoption; later, they have succeeded in locating and–with the
consent of their biological parent and key relations–have re-connected
with their roots. These ceremonies sometimes include aspects where the
adopted and biological families join in support of the celebrant, or
the celebrant shares with the biological family his/her life story of
the intervening years
-
-
-
Email from E. Clontz: June 07, 2004 I love rituals -
the attention they call to processes, landmarks in time. My maternal
grandmother was wonderful in creating rituals in celebrations. Other
than that, my experience of such in several women's groups and equinox
and solstice celebrations were my introduction. I believe most in our
society crave ways to reconnect with the sacredness in daily life. I
began using them in sessions, groups and creativity gatherings I have
hosted. Also in a women's sacred theatre performance troupe I started
last autumn. Rituals are also a wonderful tool for building community,
for honoring the process, for naming, for giving concrete form to the
journeys of the inner landscape.
I have been wanting to articulate my work in writing more and
your request is a catalyst for such. I'm working on doing such on
principles and anecdotes for you.
Functions of Ritual
In a lovely
little book titled, Ritual: a guide to
life, love and inspiration, by Emma Orr (2000: London:
Thorsons.)
www.liferites.org
www.thorsons.com
the author notes some functions of ritual:
- they affirm what we value and believe; they define our expectations.
- they sometimes become “the fine art of taking a break,” of pausing to notice, appreciate what is happening, what transitions are in process.
- think of ritual as a tool for promoting social harmony
- rituals align attention in certain directions–because folks get so easily distracted, scattered, torn among innumerable sources that seek attention. They allow for a more conscious and reflective choice, a type of becoming re-grounded. Correspondingly, ritual weakens competing beliefs, such as the unspoken sense that what the celebrities on television are doing is somehow more important than your own small life.
- think of ritual as a kind of relationship guide to relation and spirit
- not only for social harmony, rituals should be viewed as the key tool for transformation and change, sex, death, insanity, taboo–more than mere discussion, talking about all the mixed feelings, psychotherapy–those procedures are good, but are often not so focused. Ritual serves as a way to re-focus and add a measure of aesthetic and emotional affirmation to the process.
- they help us honor change, participate more deeply in celebration, give thanks, strengthen relationships with support, find joy, explore soul creativity, learn deeply value of laughter
- rituals help to add a degree of certainty to the profound uncertainty of existence, affirming beliefs, promoting congruence, and thus serving as a tool for inner harmony, also
- since we tend not to perceive what we don’t believe exists, rituals make a bit more concrete, through noting symbols, the invisible patterns that underlie our existence, and especially those patterns or forces that are experienced as uplifting
Becky Bailey
(2000) notes that small rituals of affection can more deeply ground
children. There are a number of “I Love You” rituals that create a
special sacred place, a place for togetherness, in which there is
increased eye contact and bonding, touch, and an anchoring of a feeling
of belonging. This can be a powerful tool in parenting.
These I love you rituals were influence in part by Ann Jernberg’s
method of “Theraplay.”
Families based on roles and groups based on healthy relationship. On
page 7 about ritual, connection, drama adds significance
Create sacred, special spaces designated for togetherness, increase eye
contact, bonding
Touch p. 10, weave in, anchor feeling, In 1920, infant mortality
in institutions close to 100%needed henry chapin,
pediatritican, new york to note the need for more intimate caretaking.
Quotations:
"To celebrate is to contemplate the singularity of the moment
and to enhance the singularity of the self. What was shall not be
again. The man of our time is losing the power of celebration. Instead
of celebrating, he seeks to be amused or entertained. Celebration is an
active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation. To be
entertained is a passive state--it is to receive pleasure afforded by
an amusing act or spectacle. Celebration is a confrontation, giving
attention to the transcendent meaning of one's
actions."
--Abraham Joshua Heschel
(Famous Jewish Theologian)
"In the time of your life, live--so that in that good time there
shall be no ugliness or death for yourself or for any life your life
touches. Seek goodness everywhere, and when it is found, bring it out
of its hiding place and let it be free and unashamed. Place in matter
and in flesh the least of the values, for these are the things that
hold death and must pass away. In the time of your life, live--so that
in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the
world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of
it."
--William Saroyan The Time of
Your Life
References
Website
Contacts: Celebrants in
Australia... many
Sally Andrews, Sally@oregoncelebrations.comOregon civil
celebrations
Www.oregoncelebrations.com
Center for Creative Intent 415 720-7338
www.coreflame.com/ritual.html Has some good instructions and
ideas.
Www.ritualwell.org Mainly Jewish ceremonies
Many wicca, magick ritual websites
Kgilbert@indiana.eduHoward Gorle’s classes
Www.ritesofchange.com Ritesofchange@aol.com ellen
hufschmidt
Books
(with appreciation for
annotation by Elizabeth Clontz)
Achterberg,
Jeanne, Dossey, Barbara; & Kolkmeirer, Leslie. (1994). Rituals of
healing: Using imagery for health and wellness.New
York:
Bantam.
Excellent source of ritual processes and imagery scripts for specific
health concerns. Section on peaceful dying. How to create your
own healing rituals. Use of relaxation and breath. Concise overview of
the immune system.
Bailey, Becky.
(2000). ‘I love you’ rituals.
New York: Quill/ Harper Collins
Www.beckybailey.com 1-800-841-2846
Bopp, Judie;
Bopp, Michael; Brown, Lee & Lane, Phil. (1989) The Sacred Tree:
Reflections On Native American Spirituality. Wilmot, WI: Lotus
Light.
Handbook of Native American spirituality. Good reference if
incorporating Native American spirituality into rituals. Gifts of each
of the four directions. Code of ethics.
Broner, E. M.
(1999). Bringing home the light: A
Jewish woman’s handbook of rituals.
San Francisco: Council Oaks Books.
Budapest,
Zsuzsanna E. (1991) Grandmother
Moon: lunar magic in our lives: spells,
rituals, goddesses, legends & emotions under the Moon.
New York: HarperCollins.
Good reference on goddess spirituality. Aspects associated with each
moon of the year. Rituals for processing various emotions.
Budapest,
Zsuzsanna E. (1989) The Grandmother of Time: A Women’s Book of
Celebrations, Spells, and Sacred Objects for Every Month of the
Year. New York: HarperCollins.
Good reference on goddess spirituality. Goddess, rituals, and teachings
associated with each month of the year. Rituals for rites of passage
such as birth, puberty, middle age.
Cabot, Laurie
& Mills, Jean. (1994) Celebrate the Earth: a year of holidays in
the pagan tradition.New York: Dell.
Rituals for celebrating the Celtic holidays
Cahill, Sedonia
& Halpern, Joshua. (1992). The
ceremonial circle: Practice, ritual,
& renewal for personal and community healing. San Francisco:
Harper. Excellent source of the use of the circle as a ritual form in community
- for healing, rejuvenation, celebration and protest. Stories of
teachers of the circle way. Sections on the ingredients for “weaving” a
circle and the meaning of being in circle. Tools of the circle.
Reference chart of the four directions.
Cunningham,
Nancy Brady. (1988) Feeding the
spirit: creating your own festivals,
ceremonies & celebrations. San Jose, CA: Resource
Publications, Inc.
Ingredients for ceremonies. Sample designs for rituals such as creating
a contemplative day, creating sacred space, and supporting a friend who
is sick.
Farmer, Stephen
D. (2002). Sacred ceremony: How to
create ceremonies for healing,
transitions and celebration. Hay House.
Grimes, R. L.
(1982). Beginnings in ritual studies.
Washington, D.C.: University
Press of America, Inc.
Hammerschlag,
Carl A. & Silverman, H. D. (1998). Healing ceremonies: creating
personal rituals for spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental
healing. Turtle Island Press.
Heinberg,
Richard. (1993) Celebrate the
solstice: honoring the Earth's
seasonal rhythms through festival and ceremony. Wheaton,
IL: The
Theosophical Publishing House.
Scientific explanation of solstices, equinoxes and quarter days.
Personal rituals for celebrating the solstice. Solstice rituals
throughout the world. Creating a solstice festival.
Henes, D.
(1996). Celestially auspicious
occasions: Seasons, cycles, and
celebrations. New York: Perigee/Berkley Publishing Group.
Sampling of cross-cultural ritual practices associated with cycles of
the sun, moon and stars - solstices, equinoxes, cross-quarter days,
eclipses, leap years, blue moons, birthdays, new years as well as days,
weeks and months
Lieberman, Susan
Abel. (1991). New traditions:
redefining celebration for today’s
family. New York: Noonday / Farrar, Straus & Giroux.
Linn, Denise.
(1999). Altars: bringing sacred
shrines into your everyday life. New
York: Ballantine Wellspring.
Mastro, R. &
Mastro, M. (2004). Altars of power
and grace: create the life you
desire through the sacred art of vastu shastra. Seattle:
Balanced Books.
Www.balancedbookspub.com This book uses a Hindu
Vedic system of placement for objects in the creation of altars.
At the end, it notes websites for such varied sources of ideas as
Angel-ology; patron saints; incense; quotations; candles; a source for
information about various deities in different cultures; and so forth.
McMann, Jean.
(1998). Altars and icons: sacred
spaces in everyday life. San
Francisco: Chronicle Books. Writes about Shrines, Bells, files,
beads, tokens, talismans, mementos, sacred souvenirs,
Immigrants, displays of artifacts, sites of memory, chinese, a corn
grinding stone from mexico, irish turf
Remembering, forgetting, shelves, dresser tops, windowsills
Home shrines, for family, fireplace mantel; traveling shrines for
protection and confort
At the worksplace, inspiration, subersion, disguise, badge of identity
Planted outdoors, symbols in garden, landscape, transplanting
Personal icons, gods, heroes, teachers, muses, others
Metrick, Sydney
Barbara. (1994). Crossing the
bridge: creating ceremonies for grieving
ad healing from life's losses. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.
Paladin, Lynda
S.. (1991). Ceremonies for change:
creating ceremonies to heal
life’s hurts. New York: E. P. Dutton. (Also, from Walpole, NH:
Stillpoint.) Reasons we need
ceremony in today’s society. Use of symbols, stories, affirmations and
symbolic action to empower desired change. Use of readings in
ceremonies. Sample ceremonies. Sixteen removable ritual design cards
which guide one in planning a ritual.
Rosen, Seymour.
(1979).
In celebration of ourselves.
San Francisco: California Living Books.
Orr, Emma.
(2000). Ritual: a guide to life,
love and inspiration. London:
Thorsons. www.liferites.org
www.thorsons.com
Wall, Kathleen,
& Ferguson, Gary. (1998). Rites
of passage: celebrating life
changes. Hillsboro OR: Beyond Words Inc.
Williamson, Gay
& David. (1994). Transformative
rituals: celebrations for personal growth. Deerfield Beach, FL:
Health Communications, Inc.
York, Sarah.
(2000). Remembering well: rituals
for celebrating life and mourning
death. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Mainly funerals, memorials.
http://www.indiana.edu/~famlygrf/units/ceremonies.html
Good article by Howard Gorle for a class on rituals at the University
of Indiana.
Www.ritesofchange.com
Ritesofchange@aol.com ellen hufschmidt minneapolis area
www.celebrationceremonies.com And many, many others
in Australia